This week I was shocked that my cousin and her husband of five years divorced because she wants kids and he doesn’t. They made a great couple, but their different views on having children made her ask for a divorce. They were in love for 7 years and then they got married, only to realize they both wanted different things in life. I’m not talking here about cheering for different football teams, or he loves dogs and she loves cats – no!
For me I believe when you think about marriage, the first thing that comes to your mind is having kids with the one you love, I mean it’s forming a family with the love of your life, being a father and raising kids. That is family, a father, a mother and kids. It’s a blessing that he took for granted.
Some families don’t have the chance to have that blessing. Yes, it’s a blessing and he chose to ignore her feelings, just because he doesn’t want to handle that responsibility. I came across a couple who were married now for 22 years and were trying to have kids. After 14 years of treatment and six surgeries God blessed them with a twin.
When I asked my cousin why she asked for a divorce, she said, “I want to be a mother.” I told her to go to doctors, get treatment along with her husband which usually takes time, but I was shocked to hear her husband doesn’t want to have kids. He was forcing her to take pills & use protection so that she doesn’t get pregnant.
Taking the blame for three years
For three years, she convinced her mother-in-law that she couldn’t get pregnant as she had a problem and took all the blame. She thought he would change after a while as no one loves her as much as he does.
Three years later, she confessed to her mother-in-law that her son is the one who doesn’t want to have kids, and the shocking thing that his mother was okay with that and told her to give him time. She waited two more years, watching all the other couples who got married after her having kids and the more she waited, the more stubborn he became.
The perfect glow
I was watching the movie What to Expect When You Are Expecting and when Wendy gave birth to her child, she held him and said, “He’s my glow. He’s my perfect, perfect glow.” I cried at that moment. The idea that someone could take this feeling away from me made me cry. Each woman has the right to have that. Maybe for men, it’s not that important but it is to women. For me, I believe she took the right decision to end her mirage.
WE SAID THIS: Tell us what you think a woman should do if her husband doesn’t want to have kids.
