I never understood why people make things more difficult for everyone else. I don’t get it. I cannot understand why anyone would make life harder than it already is.
Traffic, pollution, work, family obligations… I truly believe everyone has enough going on. So this is a cry for mercy to all the people out there that go out of their way to make life just that much harder.
Unfortunately for you, the world does not revolve around you. Unfortunately for us, you haven’t realized that yet.
Now I know we all have a diva inside just itching to come out, but I’m asking you all nicely to keep her bottled up nice and tight.
So for everyone out there struggling with a shrew or two in their lives, here are some tips to help you wipe away any murderous thoughts going through your mind.
- Nod and smile. I promise you it works. These people can’t hear you anyways. Conversations with them are mostly self-declarations of their awesomeness… you, by default, are insignificant. So just nod and smile.
- When the conversation dies down and you need to contribute, just agree with everything that’s been said. Of course, you are more tired than I am. Of course you work harder than I do. Of course your migraine is way worse than my headache. What was I thinking?
- Repeat this to yourself when you feel like they’re going to suck you down with them: it’s not about you, ever. It’s always about them. If they’remaking fun of you, it’s only because that’s where they get their energy. You’re probably totally rocking that poncho.
- Yes, the day you decided to become their friend was not the day you pledged your allegiance to their universe. But you sitting there means the same thing to them.
- You cannot change them. No one can. So unless you have some wicked hypnosis skills, back off. Repeat steps 1-4.
So, my contribution to mankind is the following; I will do everything in my power to make sure that my daughters are positive humble people. In return, I expect everyone else to do the same. Because as matter of fact, my kids are pretty damn awesome. And they can probably kick your kids’ asses. But don’t worry, I wont let them know that, as long as you do the same.
