Ok, you’re going to find me to be quite the hypocrite here because I’m going to go on a rant on people who make fun of others. But here’s the catch, when you make fun of others (just like I do) make sure you can back it up. I make fun of musicians and music in Egypt, but I have the right to because I am probably the best at what I do here. However, when you suck, try to keep your opinions to yourself rather than looking like an absolute knobhead.
Since 90% of my online time is on Facebook, (the other 10% is on this celebrity foot fetish website) I happened to stumble upon one of the most ridiculous videos I have ever seen in my entire life: An Egyptian attempt to emulate that E! show called “Fashion Police”. Disregarding the fact that the E!’s target audience are airheads with dreams, I find it more stupendous that a bunch of Egyptians are doing the same thing, but poorly and in unpleasant taste.
First of all, the video was made by one of the country’s popular high end magazines, which is great in it’s own right because they worked hard to put that project into place. Having said that, the video was amateurish at best. Shit sound quality, what looks like a 1997 video camera and a horrible set with an awkward camera angle. That’s not what bugged me though.
For the entire 13 minutes I wanted to stick a fork in my eye and a pencil in my ear. They took idiocy to a whole new level.
Well firstly, who are these people to judge in the first place? One is a chick who I never knew existed, the guy is one of the biggest event organizers. Secondly, the girl’s top looks like a picnic blanket so I wouldn’t take anything she says seriously. What made me laugh the most is that the presenter and two judges looked like they were all invited to different events (a wedding, a golf outing and a picnic).
Now the three are holding iPads. I threw up a bit in my mouth because that was the worst use of iPads I have ever seen. If Steve Jobs knew they would be used like this he would have died years earlier by stabbing himself to death. Anyway, they go through pictures of what seem like normal people in the community, but they have their faces censored as a sign of respect. For fucks sake! Then they proceed to completely murder some people and praise others (who they seem like they know personally by the way). Once they are done with their witty comments they move on to the next victim.
It’s a joke how they are obsessed with that E! lifestyle where they want to portray these people as celebrities. These are just people like you and I who just tag along to every party in town, and now they are celebrities. Anyway, they then proceed to this couple with their faces censored. They make fun of the suit the guy is wearing and they are in awe of the dress the girl is wearing (that Lara Scandar girl). They decide to show the guys face because they are asses. The guy is Mahmoud Shoukry. Now this didn’t piss me off because I know the guy personally and I actually like him. But what pissed me off is that they made fun of him and then decided to show his face for two reasons:
1. He’s a guy
2. He’s not in their ‘circle’ of friends
What I hate is when girls can simply tell guys how fat they got or how disgusting what they’re wearing is, but when you mention anything slightly demeaning to a girl, she becomes anorexic and hates you for life. I gained a few pounds when I got married and I was a hefty fuck. And what girls would tell me was “Wow! You’re fat now!” or “You want a bra?” and my favorite “Do you see your penis?” I never retaliated even though I lost a bit of soul inside. Well not really. But it’s just fucking annoying that they can get away with it.
Next time you want to do a show like this, pick on celebrities. That’s what they signed up for. Don’t pick on people who are just like you and me because it’ll come bite you in the ass one day.
And if people who made the video say something like “Well! We got what we wanted…. You’re all talking about the video!” then I think they need a head check. I’m a firm believer that any publicity is good publicity but this is just awful. I don’t think anyone in their right mind would applaud this work unless they are deaf, blind and retarded. If it was slightly good, I’d say chapeau for the publicity but this is like watching paint dry.
Well, you know something is fucked up when Paris Hilton and the Kardashians are your role models. And besides, pick a more creative name than “Fashion Police” instead of blatantly stealing it from the popular show.
My rant is over. I need a cigarette and a Chinese massage with a happy ending.
WE SAID THIS: THIS ISN’T A JAB AT THE MAGAZINE OR THE PEOPLE PRESENTING ALTHOUGH WE’RE SURE PEOPLE WILL TRANSLATE IT LIKE THAT
