“I’m 38 now so I feel like now is the time for me to get married.” “Really?” “Yeah…you’re 26 it’s definitely time you get married.” Some relate it back to religious reason, some say it’s just tradition, sometimes you’ll just get a ‘heik…lazem’ but whatever the reason may be, the vast majority of Arab society living both in the Middle East and in the diaspora are extremely preoccupied with the idea of marriage. While marriage can be totally awesome if it is with the right person and the right time, but the ‘right time’ has been debated, studied, and obsessed over since the dawn of marriage.
When is the right time to get married? Is it marked by a certain age or is it marked by a milestone in one’s life. Some may argue that age is the main factor considering the couple should be young in order to have the energy to raise children. Some may say that once a person has achieved a life goal such as graduating from college, or finding a stable job, taking the next big step in their career is the right time to get married and settle down.
While financial stability is important in one’s life, it is never really stable for most. It remains a focal point of stress for many throughout their life span, but it is also considered a sign as to when someone should wed. All these factors are in a basic sense, artificial and irrelevant when it comes to making the decision to tying the knot.
Marriage is not a matter to be taken lightly, it is a decision that needs to be made based on the relationship you have with that person. It can’t be determined by one’s biological age because that is not necessarily an accurate measurement of character. The decision can’t be based on where you stand in your education or career path because that is a reflection of your personal journey, not a reflection of the relationship that is meant to blossom because of who you already are. Marriage is not meant to be decided based on the amount in your bank account, because money is an abstract factor that can come in abundance and disappear in a heartbeat.
Marriage is a step that should be taken when two people who love each other decide that they can tolerate and continue to love each other even in the darkest of days. The right time to get married is when you find someone that you will eventually tire from each other but still stand by each other though it all. The right time to get married is when you find someone that you don’t belong to but belong with. Marriage is a commitment that is meant to last forever, when you find someone that you believe will be with you forever, that’s the right time to get married.
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