La La Land, an original film starring Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling and directed by Damien Chazelle, just made Golden Globes history.
The throwback musical earned seven Golden Globes, which is the most awards for a single movie ever. The film swept all of its nominated categories (Best Motion Pictures – Musical or Comedy, Best Performance in a Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy, Best Director, Best Screenplay, Best Original Picture, Best Original Song) and set a new record previously held by One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest (1976) and Midnight (1979) that had six wins each.
With everyone across the world obsessing over the masterpiece (Arabs including), we cannot help but imagine what would it be like if La La Land was, in fact, Arab. Here’s how we think it would be if the movie was shot in the Middle East:
Bushra will play Mia and Tamer Hosny will play Seb
Not only are both of them actors, they’re also singers. Sadly, Hosny is cursed with the Nickelback curse, aka people sometimes give him a hard time for no reason whatsoever. We think a role like this will help people see him in a different way.
The movie will be set in Cairo, because duh, it’s the Middle East’s Hollywood
Imagine having “A Lovely Night” sang in the streets of Cairo at night with the Nile as the view. Oh, and having Mia and Seb on top of Cairo Tower for the Planetarium scene.
J.K. Simmons’ character of Bill that owned the bar where Seb was playing piano at would be played by none other than Ali Gaber
Not only does Gaber know a lot about music, but he also has the good looks and charm Simmons has.
The song “Another Day Of Sun” will not be included in the soundtrack because imagine shooting that scene? Any Arab country would be stuck in constant traffic for at least a month
Yup, there is no way that scene is going to be shot on Egypt’s Ring Road, Jordan’s University Street, or basically anywhere 3andena (here).
Bushra’s part-time job will be at a social media agency. Hosny, on the other hand, will be a struggling DJ
The social media business is boomin’ and the Arab version of Mia looks like the kind of gal who would be into it. Jazz culture isn’t that popular around here so Seb is going to be a struggling DJ who dreams to open a club in Dubai one day.
The song “City Of Stars” will obviously be renamed to “Citystars”
“Citystars, are you shining just for me? Citystars, why are you better than CFC?”
Ahmed Harfoush will play Keith, John Legend’s character
Who better to play Keith than one of the Middle East’s top jazz performers? Seb will obviously join Keith’s Riff Band to make enough money to open his club in Dubai.
Bushra will end up marrying Dhafer L’Abidine at the end of the movie
We think Bushra ending up with L’Abidine will soften the blow of the original ending, because who would say no to L’Abidine?
WE SAID THIS: Please note that this article was made by a fool who dreams.
