The Mystery of the Pinky Finger Nail 
I’ve lived in Egypt all my life, and during that time I’ve come across hundreds, if not thousands of men who have grown their pinky nails extremely long. These are men from all ages. Some are in their late teens, some are battling a mid life crisis and some are just really fucking old.
From cabbies to barbers, from mechanics to delivery boys. They’ve all got that grotesque fashion statement and I have never had the heart to ask them why.
So after sitting alone and really thinking about this completely useless topic, I’ve come across the following conclusions:
1. They all suffer from a horrendous itch. Egypt isn’t the cleanest of places and you can easily get some fungal infections.
2. They’re male feminists. Meninists. They want equality. If you’re allowed to have long nails, why can’t we?
3. They are coke heads. Seems to be easier to scoop, I guess.
4. They can’t afford Q-Tips. You can’t blame them for wanting to clear their ears from time to time.
5. Finally, it could be a simple complex problem. These men want to prove to the world that they don’t do manual labor so they have to prove it by growing their pinky nails.
In all cases, I salute these beautiful brave men and I’ve decided, in solidarity, I will grow my pinky nails as well. We will call the 29th of November: the Pinky Day for Men!
No more ear wax!
No more boogers!
No more jock itch!
No more people thinking we do manual labor!
More coke!
(Update on Pinky Day for Men situation: My wife read this then threatened to leave me. PDFM is off but if any of you want to volunteer…).
WE SAID THIS: Nice try with the PDFM, Ghazy. Nice try.
