At times, it is extremely difficult to ignore everything that is wrong with our country and look at the positive and rather humorous side. Everyone looks and feels miserable, the economy is heading towards a disaster, proper and affordable education is rare and Reham Saeed is still on TV.
Yet, every now and then someone shares something about Egypt that puts a smile on our faces, no matter how harshly truthful it is because deep down inside we all want to love this country no matter how many times it slaps us on the face. Jasmina Nellestijn, a Dutch woman married to an Egyptian, wrote the most point on status about things she learned so far about Egypt. You will definitely relate.
Here’s what she has learned from Egypt so far
*They eat beans for breakfast
*The money doesn’t make sense (25 cent bills? :/)
*I know more people smoking hashish here than in the Netherlands
*It’s okay if you don’t open the door, you don’t have to stay quiet and pretend you’re not home
*You can listen to everybody’s personal calls, even from 3 blocks away
*They love to laugh
*When something happens in the street everybody is either against you or with you
*The louder you scream the more people are with you
*Honking is not only to warn for danger
*Want to cross the street, use a local as shield
*They don’t eat the wedding cake at the actual wedding
*Driving is gambling with your life
*Every car has a dent or a scratch
*They’re good in parking, to the millimeter
*When a guest, do not pay, they get offended
*They don’t do internet banking
*A guy shows up every month to collect the bill for gas/electricity/water
*The weather is hot, even in winter
*There is no drainage, rain means flooded streets
*There’s always either dust or sand in your house
*Staring is the national hobby
*Food is the most important thing in the world
*Bicycles are rare
*They will cut your electricity or water
*Mobile providers suck
*Only bad customer care exist
*Planning (anything) does not work
*Family is everything
*Never ask why about anything happening around you
*Patience is key
*Everything is always bokra (tomorrow) in shaa Allah
*When you pay in a shop, they refuse 2 times and take the money the third time, don’t walk away the first 2 times
* When they ask you ‘aizz haga’, do you want something, you are supposed to say no
* Microbus drivers are crazy
* Helmets don’t exist
* Lanes on the road are just for show, so are seat belts and traffic police
* When you order a Pepsi, you have to specify if you want Coke, Orange, 7up or Miranda
* Everybody knows who you are, but you have no idea who they are
* The letter p is often pronounced as b
* Lunch can be at 8 o’clock in the evening
* You can cross the highway as a pedestrian
* It’s the best country to celebrate Eid
After her status went viral, Nellestijn gave her followers more things she has learned from living in Egypt
After part 1 (which I re-shared today in case you want to read it) it’s time for part 2 of “What I’ve learned so far” #Egypt
* When you call your friends who are late, the reply is always “I’m on my way” although you can hear in the background they’re still at home
* There is no such thing as a ridiculous absurd excuse for not doing something that you said you would
* It’s okay to go have dinner or go to sleep in the middle of a conversation
* A long pinky nail doesn’t mean someone is snoring cocaine. Long pinky nails can be used as a screwdriver as well
* Everything has a special price, especially for you
* As a foreigner you can scare the police by asking “what is your name” and say a few times out loud the word embassy
* It’s okay to open a product in the supermarket and eat or drink while shopping
* You can add everybody to Facebook, doesn’t matter if you know them or not, and you’re not considered a freak or a stalker
* A whole family does fit on 1 motorcycle
* When you say you’re Dutch they think you’re from Germany
* When you have a flat tire, there are always plenty of people who will help you
* Tuktuks can be driven by a 6 year old
* The police show you a 30 year old photo book when you show them a video of a teenager stealing your bag
* When you pet a street cat everybody thinks you’re crazy, but still ask what they can do about the cough of their house cat
* They look in your trunk for a bomb, but any other place in the car is okay.
* Mothers are sacred
* They eat potato chips with their sandwich & fries on bread
* They love to talk English with you. When you try to bring in some of your incredible (ahum) Arabic in a conversation, they reply in English how well your Arabic is.
* They prefer ketchup over mayonnaise (unbelievable, right?!)
* They will stand on the railing of your 10th floor balcony to fix your AC
* There are weddings everyday of the week
* Everything can end up in a live concert with people clapping, drumming and dancing. Doesn’t matter where, the bus, the beach, waiting in line
* Taxi meters always seem to be broke
* The popular mustaches are, according to folktale, the fault of the Germans. Long long time ago a German businessman came to Egypt wearing a mustache….and so it began
*If you want to avoid a political discussion, do not take a taxi.
* Despite popular believe in other countries, I do feel safe walking the streets in Egypt.
* Everything can be delivered to your house (not kidding, everything)
* Guys holding hands or with their arms around each other doesn’t automatically mean they’re in love or gay
* Weekend days are on Friday & Saturday, not Saturday & Sunday
* Egyptians are in general very very very proud of their country and it’s history
* I don’t know what the deal is with pavements. Either there is none or there is one but rarely used.
* Everybody wants to be in a photo with you. Even if you don’t know the person and likely will never see that person again in your lifetime
* The fresh fruit is amazing, the colour, the smell, the taste. It has a lot of flavor
* When you are friends with an Egyptian, you are friends for life (rather you like it or not haha kidding)
* Nobody is stressing, everything is “mafeesh mushkila” (no problem)
WE SAID THIS: Ben7ebek ya Masr!
