We get engaged in Egypt more than we breathe. We get engaged in Egypt more than any other country on this planet. We get engaged because we can and we will end it for the most ridiculous reasons that defy all logic, laws of nature and physics.
1. El3in
Remember when you Instagrammed a photo of you looking happy? Well, apparently el3in fala2et el7agar.
2. A phone password
If you dare not share your phone password, you must be a cheating scumbag. There is no other explanation in our minds.
3. Mama and baba
Hell hath no fury like Egyptian 7amawat. With an uncontrolled urge to express their disapproval over every little detail, passive aggressively that is, engagements are easily doomed.
4. Beet mama we baba
From saying “OMG the salon was so modhab and baladi” and “Did you see the messy kitchen?” to hating how much samna they add in food, what happens in your lover’s house sadly is a make-or-break-it deal.
5. Playstation and el ahwa
Man-cave time in 2016 is Playstation or shisha time at the ahwa, preferably with fellow males. Women sometimes find it puzzling that a man would prefer to spend a night co-existing with FIFA rather than her. The “You do nothing all day” and “What do you do all night with the guys?” accusations start and men get the hell out.
6. Facebook
How dare you like your colleague’s photo? It isn’t even that good. Are you in love or what? Where do we stand as a couple from this social media love crime?
7. El compound
Girls want to get married as fast as you can blink because of the whole biological clock peer pressure, and those damn compounds in 6th of October and Tagamo3 just never seem to deliver on time. Then comes the “Let’s go for rent” debate and the guy says, “No. Kefaya kharab beyoot”, so you decide your love was conditional after all.
8. El ceramic
The best place to have a couples fight is ElSallab and ElMahgoub because everyone there is doing the same. Women are trying to get men interested in the nightmare that is choosing tiles and men just want her to get done.
9. El naggar
The biggest challenge in an Egyptian marriage is not religion, age or income. It’s the freakin’ naggar, sabbak and 3omal. They get on your nerves and the most well-composed men lose their patience and sometimes the love of their life in the process.
10. El shabka
It’s all fun and puppy love until it’s time for bling. A shabka becomes a pivotal point that will determine your future. If he gets you a karat instead of a karat and a half, it gets so much out of proportion and “Manzarna eh odam 3ametek?” and “Lazm teb2i zai okhtek”, then the word that ends it all: “El Monture”.
11. El Kosha
This is one of the worst fights mid-wedding planning. Parents insist that you do the 30,000 LE kosha, you both insist it’s a waste of time, they throw “Manzarna eh odam elnas?” and then the parents start fighting, the couple take sides and you cancel the wedding all together.
WE SAID THIS: Don’t miss 10 Ridiculous Signs You Are ‘Egyptian Marriage Material’.
