Pinkie sat at her friend Zee’s dining table with her huge ass GMAT books, scrap paper, and a newly purchased art pencil laid out in front after attempting to solve yet another math problem almost ripping her already messed up hair out from it’s very roots. Zee’s place has become her solace; the only place where she can have a quiet environment and focus, after all, the exam date is fast approaching and she believes that she’s far from ready to face it; the first time driving her Matchbox on the crazy streets of Cairo is a heaven to what she’s feeling right now. With this much anxiety bubbling within her, she sat there meditating – a newly found retreat she delved into only two weeks earlier and is yet to master.
Her iPhone buzzes. “Not again!”, she thinks. The mobile device that has become an extension of her hand, her being hasn’t been quiet for more than 5 consecutive minutes. That’s what you get for being all connected; Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn… you name it, she’s on it. Weird thing though was that it was a message from GABR; she usually calls and only messages Pinkie with the customary “bonjour” each morning since she’s such an early riser – she sometimes reminds Pinkie of the milkman in a galabeya that used to pass by their house in the morning when she first moved to Egypt.
GABR (18:32): Can you tell me honestly how I looked last Thursday?
The amount of negative energy Pinkie sensed emitting from her iPhone and spreading in the space between it and her eyes made her face cringe. “Moment’s gone”, she thought.
PINKIE (18:34): Really cool much better than the straightened hair and I like the light makeup… Don’t like over done eye shadow or stuff.. 🙂
PINKIE (18:35): It was between the cool and girly u know?
PINKIE (18:36): The bag though I would change
PINKIE (18:37): U have much nicer ones
GABR (18:39): My mum says I looked horrible
PINKIE (18:40): And I would go for slightly less bracelets
GABR (18:41): Fat
GABR (18:41): Disgusting
GABR (18:42): Undesirable
Pinkie stared at the ceiling. “Oops, this might be a long one…”, she thought.
PINKIE (18:44): Did she catch the “Helen Syndrome”?
PINKIE (18:44): Helen = my mother
GABR (18:44): I looove my silver!
GABR (18:45): I KNOW who Helen is!
PINKIE (18:45): I loooooove ur silver but some pieces need to be worn alone because they deserve that
GABR (18:46): Regardless, she’s telling me the worst of shit RIGHT NOW, I feel terrible!
PINKIE (18:47): Let her be, try to detach
PINKIE (18:48): They tend to take out their frustrations on us
GABR (18:49): She’s mad at me because I only lost 13 kilos since I started dieting back in December.
GABR (18:50): She’s mad because I took a break when I traveled to London and throughout Ramadan.
PINKIE (18:50): Why doesn’t she get a butcher’s knife and chop of some meat then and sell it and get the price of the dietitian and the skinny daughter?
Not realizing it, Pinkie steals a glance at her thighs and notices that her jeans have been ripped horizontally at the knees. She heard a ghostly voice sneaking behind her right shoulder saying: “your thighs are so fat, you’re bursting out of your pants!” “Shhhhhhhhh!!!”; Pinkie hisses back like a vampire at its prey.
PINKIE (18:51): Listen, you’ve seen what this “fat” shit has done to me… YOU WILL NOT GET AFFECTED BY IT!!!
GABR (18:51): I wanna die!
PINKIE (18:52): Ok one moment
PINKIE (18:52): *virtual slap*
PINKIE (18:52): Re-read what you just sent me.. Now step back and imagine me saying it? (highly likely) Haha funny no?
GABR (18:53): I have a mother that makes my life a living hell, a father that wont live for more than 5 years, and a brother so paranoid by getting sucked into family drama like his father that he’s nonchalant about everyone other than himself!
“Lord, here we go with the long monologues again!”, Pinkie tells herself. She exerts so much effort not to actually respond with a message conveying just that. She knows though that the more Gabr is going to go down that particular road, the more such thoughts will keep popping in her brain.
GABR (18:53): I almost have no friends!
Is she even listening? Aren’t I a friend?
GABR (18:53): I never had anyone tell me that they love me!
Reckless vicious circle of emotions!
GABR (18:53): I have no job, no career! That IS True!
Huh? I thought this was the “I’m undesirable and fat” rant… Now, with the job! *face palm*
PINKIE (18:54): First of all, CALM THE F DOWN
PINKIE (18:54): Amira, you don’t listen and when you appear to be listening it is just you preparing yet again for a counter argument but this time you will LISTEN
GABR (18:55): She thinks I’m thinking about HIM because there’s no one in my life. And, of course, there is no one in my life because I don’t put myself in the most favorable condition.
I am talking to myself… to my phone rather!
GABR (18:55): She can’t understand that I just don’t fit in that box she so carefully assembled for me!
I will not get mad, I will NOT! Oh, there go the little bubbles of rage…
PINKIE (18:57): ENOUGH! Do you even listen to yourself going on and on relentlessly? You do love that! The drama; letting out your own anger, feeding on it; the sappy music, isolating yourself in your own BOX! Get up! Get out! See the world!
GABR (18:57): But I can’t stand people anymore!
PINKIE (18:57): And you want them to love you?
GABR (18:58): LOL. Okay, that was a good one. But, parents are supposed to love you regardless and see the good parts in you, you know?!
PINKIE (18:59): How can they when YOU don’t see the good parts in yourself? Why would anyone love you if you don’t love yourself? Why all this? You are killing yourself!
And me with this toll of darkness…
PINKIE (18:59): Life is dynamic, learn to dance with it.
GABR (19:00): But my life is STATIC and you know life is like this vehicle with the 4 wheels; family, friends, career, and significant other. And you just keep rolling. I was fine having only two of those! But, now, I have ZERO!
PINKIE (19:02): NO. All those outside factors are passengers and you are the driver. What life throws at you are the tools, you know?! They may turn out to be a Mercedes or a friggin’ bicycle. I know it sounds better to cry in a décapotable than on a bicycle… But LOOK around you!
GABR (19:03): I am nothing without my parents..
PINKIE (19:05): Then maybe it is time for you to start standing on your own feet. CHANGE your lifestyle. Quit sitting in that room thinking the whole world will just come to you. Limit the amount of negativity you are prone to getting sitting in that VERY room. Look at me? You think I just sit there and MEET PEOPLE? You think I enjoy roaming the endless streets of Cairo? Do you think I do not get hurt or affected by people? I just started working on it. I find ways to protect myself from all those toxins I face on a constant basis.. It’s not fun, but somewhere along the way you get stronger and better at it.
GABR (19:19): You need to go study; someone needs to take away your phone. Oh and you need to watch “Jobs”.
PINKIE (19:19): As in the movie?
GABR (19:21): Yeah… You’ll totally relate 😉
GABR (19:10): Uh-oh, Mum is back for round 3… *Mortal Combat* FIGHT!
The following day…
GABR (17:22): So, how was your day?
PINKIE (21:05): I AM THE REINCARNATION OF STEVE JOBS!
GABR (21:05): Told you that you gotta watch it 😉
PINKIE (21:06): everybody laughs at me. But I’ll do great things. No matter how many people turn me down. I spoke to a guy today from Stanford.
PINKIE (21:06): He thinks my story is kick ass! He said I was more interesting than many people he met there!
GABR (21:07): WONDERFUL
PINKIE (21:10): I want this hassle to be over so we spend some quality time…
PINKIE (21:11): Do you feel like developing an episode #2 for scoop?
PINKIE (21:11): I passed the deadline again
GABR (21:12): Sure, how about that other day when we talked about girl issues and the things you said..
PINKIE (21:12): In a virtual world
GABR (21:14): a conversation of text messages?
PINKIE (21:15): Precisely… this synthetic realm.
PINKIE (21:15): The constant escapade
PINKIE (21:15): One we so often use to reach out.
GABR (21:17): A world for everyone
PINKIE (21:17): A place where every voice counts
PINKIE (21:17): Our window to the outside world
GABR (21:19): Now, you’re just trying to BE Steve! 😛
Virtual worlds started with games solely restricted to the brilliant minds of geeks living in a world of their own until they shared it with the rest of us. It became the space where we open up, the common ground we manage to find in an imaginary world rather than real life; a parallel life we live.
