For those of you who, like myself, are too busy catching flights and not feelings to be in a relationship, it can get a bit lonely sometimes. You watch The Notebook and start crying then you log onto Facebook and notice your entire timeline is engaged… so you cry some more.
And sure, you’ll wonder, “Where did I go wrong?” But then you’ll overhear some chick yelling, “You know I don’t like pickles on my sandwich… God, it’s like you don’t even know me!” and you thank the Lord that you’re single. It’s not always easy waiting for the right person to come along, but there are some alternatives to keep you preoccupied until you find someone to yell at about pickles.
1. Be the third person in your friend’s relationship
Some like to call this being the “third wheel”, I like to call it emotional smouching minus the smooching. It’s like attaching yourself to an already established structure, like Legos. You get to go out on dates, have good conversations and vibe off of the couple’s love. And at the end of the day, you get to go home and not worry about someone snoring in your ear or farting in the sheets. Yaaay third wheel!
2. Get a temporary boyfriend/girlfriend
These are by far the best. A temp can be a hot bartender or your platonic friend, some random person on the street, whatever. You hang out for a few hours, they compliment you, buy you food/drinks (FOOOOD) and you don’t have to go home with them. Yay for not shaving your legs!
3. Masturbate and/or watch movies online
We all have our vices, these are arguably two of the best. They’re everything you want in a vice: they’re free, they don’t require you to wear pants, and because you’re doing both in the privacy of your room, no one will know how much time you really spend doing either. “I’LL TELL YOU WHEN I’VE HAD ENOUGH!”
I’m sure you can #NetflixAndChill solo — different strokes for different folks…
4. Dating apps
Nothing makes you more appreciate your singlehood quite like a stranger attempting to shove their uninvited social and political opinions down your throat, among other things.
Dating apps are great for single folks who want to be in a relationship, because it serves as a reminder of the options out there, which is typically scary. Like ex-convict-baby-daddy-nudist-I-gotta-change-my-number-scary. #truestory
WE SAID THIS: Don’t miss 9 Reasons to Travel As Much As You Can When Single.
