In an ever expanding and changing world, we can definitely feel all things from technologies to lifestyles altered. Dating is one thing that completely started changing, bit by bit, until now, modern-day dating has become less about trying to get to know someone who has captured your interest and more about trying to pass some free time.
Tinder, Match.com, OkCupid… Endless streams of online dating websites and apps are flooding the Internet and taking up spaces on our smartphones, with them giving you the opportunity to judge your compatibly with a complete stranger with just one click and one swipe.
That, ladies and gentlemen, is the new era of dating, one that is heavily reliant on the virtual, online world. Take, for example, Tinder, which is perhaps the most successful and most talked about free dating app to date, with around 50 million active users.
At this very moment, 50 million people may very well be currently sitting with their smartphones, swiping left and right, and judging the whole entire existence of other human beings based on a couple of pictures they posted and a 500-character description they wrote about themselves. Let that thought sink in for a second.
But can we blame them? Or rather blame ourselves, for relying so heavily on technology, even in intimate matters such as our love lives? Well, we willingly summarize our thoughts in 140-character tweets, inform the world about our social lives through Instagram, and share our political views on Facebook, thinking that that makes us rebellious activists. Does it still seem so surprising or even ludicrous that now we’re also pursuing “the chase” for a significant other online?
Has the whole online dating thing taken a bad turn? We decided to go ahead and delve into unfamiliar waters by asking active users of online dating channels to share their views on the matter. “I generally use it when I’m traveling around because it’s nice to meet some locals in foreign countries,” said M, an avid Tinder user.
In that context, can we actually consider Tinder, for example, to be a tool that makes people all around the world feel closer? Can it be a way for us to meet others with different cultural backgrounds, allowing ourselves to be exposed to more diversity?
We must, however, also explore the other side of the coin, as did S, who claimed that, “Online portals undervalue human contact and personal meetings. They also promote impatience with their collective attitude of ‘if you don’t like them, then move on to the next one’.”
Such channels simply give us the opportunity to take one glance at a person and decide within a split second whether we’re interested in them or not. Note that never before have we heard them utter a single word or express a single opinion, and that we’re basically basing our judgement of them on their features, choice of clothing, lighting and angle from which their chosen pictures were taken.
Thus, we must wonder, are online dating gateways, much like selfies, hashtags, likes and photoshopped magazine spreads, promoting a superficial culture and mindset amongst people whereby looks dominate our thoughts and judgements?
Finally, we must pose the question: How are such dating portals and their users perceived in our traditional Arab culture? How are they looked upon by society? Are those turning to online methods to meet others stigmatized and negatively perceived?
A, who stated her neutrality about the use of online dating portals, answers our question by claiming that, “In the society we live, which thrives on double standards and stereotypes, people who go online to look for partners are thought of as desperate, even ill-mannered, not conservative and out of control.”
Though this may be quite a general and too broad statement, we can’t, however, completely disprove it for we know all too well how dating in general, let alone online dating, is perceived by some as socially and religiously unacceptable.
All in all, dating as we know it is, like everything else around us, evolving, regardless of whether this evolution is for the better or for the worst.
In some instances, turning to all these glitzy new ways of communication can be quite fitting and helpful, especially, for example, for those who are rather introverted or socially awkward or those who are on the road and want to get immersed in new cultures.
We must, however, never forget about the true importance of face-to-face contact and how when we tend to like or even fall in love with a person, it’s never just about a picture we saw of them, it’s the whole package – their interests, opinions, habits, laughs, the sound of their voice and even how much they, at times, annoy us.
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