So as most of you already know, I am newly married – well, I’ve been married since August, so it depends on what you call “new” (my dad will consider it irrelevant until the day I bear a child to show for my marriage LOL).
Anyway, being in the mid 20s age group, a lot of my friends, acquaintances and social media friends are getting married also, and I don’t know about you guys, but I just notice these pet peeves about newly married couples that seriously piss me off.
Now, I don’t know if I do some of these as well without noticing, but I think I’m pretty good since none of my friends have dragged me through the mud yet (and trust me, they WOULD). And maybe it’s because I don’t really feel the whole, “I’m married with responsibilities” thing yet. As I always say to my friends, I feel like I’m just living with my boyfriend and my dad is OK with it, and ladies trust me, it’s the best way to be, or to handle the situation – in my opinion, at least.
But seriously though, some of these girls take it overboard, so without further ado, here are eight annoying things newly married girls do:
1. The girl who knows everything
Since when did you become my mom? I mean, seriously, getting married does not mean you have become any wiser. You’re still a 23 year-old who probably never left your parents’ house until you got married, and when you did, you had mommy send you maids and cooked meals so you wouldn’t have to lift a finger.
So don’t be sitting here in these gatherings with your nose up talking about how hard marriage is and how much you’ve been through in life. Ummm no. Let’s be clear. You had a huge wedding financed by the parents, moved your clothes to a fully-furnished ready apartment, also financed by the parents, and just had a hand in choosing the furniture, decorations, wedding dress… etc. That’s it.
Well, maybe that’s a bit harsh, but you guys get what I’m talking about. I have a mantra about these situations, because honestly, since I got married my friends do ask me a lot more questions and more of my advice, and I’ll admit, it does make me want to act all wise and all-knowing, but then I humble myself, and speak normally from experience, and I never give my opinion on something unless I’m asked.
These girls, however, sit there and talk about life as it “should” be and what others need to be doing, and think they have the right to all the authority and pomp in the world just because they got married and started having sex (well, it’s true). So, to those ladies, just take a backseat, mind your own business and focus on bettering your own lives.
2. The one who can’t talk about anything other than marriage-related topics
And speaking of outings and gatherings, there’s always that one newly married girl who cannot hold a conversation about anything other than weddings and marriage. If you try to switch the subject, she WILL find a way to bring it back to marriage and weddings. Because that’s all she’s known since she got engaged, and I really believe that we get brainwashed after we get engaged because that’s all anyone wants to talk to us about.
“Aw, you’re engaged! So how’s the wedding planning going? How’s the apartment hunt going? Did you find your dress? Your wedding planner?” And so on. So we fall into this dawama of never-ending wedding/marriage talk.
Honestly, for me, it just made me feel awkward. I LIKED talking about it, I won’t deny that, but when it prolonged, I just now change the topic to something else, because there ARE other important things to talk about in life!
But some girls fall for the trap, and then after their wedding is over, they get the shock of their lives because no one is talking to them about it anymore and everyone is onto the next engaged girl in the group.
Trust me, it gets dramatic sometimes, with the newly married forcing her opinions and “advice” on the bride to be, which brings us back to the first point: The one who knows everything. I’m telling you guys, it’s all just one big vicious cycle.
3. The “tante”
I don’t know what happens, but after girls get married, they turn into a tante. I don’t know what it is, but they just get this tante tone in the way they talk and the way they look at you. Like a tante would to a person 30 years younger.
They don’t want to talk about the silly girly topics that they used to with their friends anymore, they want to talk about stuff like household responsibilities, etiquette and in what schools they’d put their future kids – whom they didn’t even CONCEIVE yet. And they get real snobby with it too, looking at the rest of us like we’re little children.
GIRL, WAKE UP. I said it once and I’ll say it again, the only thing that you did was commit to a long-term relationship and moved to a house that you call your own – this does not mean that you’re better or wiser than anybody else.
And every time her friends ask her to hang out, she’ll come up with excuses like, “No, sorry guys, I have to stay home to cook before Tamer get’s back” or “No, I have to go to my mother-in-law’s house for a 3ozoma” (And the 3ozoma excuse extends to her husband’s uncle, his aunt, sister, cousin of a cousin, mother’s cousin, father’s I-don’t-know-who and so on.)
It’s just sad, really, because I can only imagine how your menopause will be when you hit 30. Yes, 30 – not 45 – since you’re ahead of the rest of the world and decided to be a tante at 23.
4. The show off
UGH this one just really gets on my nerves, you guys know who I’m about to talk about next…
“I had to have a huge wedding, that’s why my dad put a one million pound budget, and I didn’t even know if it’d be enough because I HAD to get my dream wedding dress, which was about 200,000 pounds on its own without any additions, and you guys, Tamer spoke to his parents about getting me a bigger ring *extends hand* do you guys like it? I wanted a smaller one, you know, but he just wouldn’t have it, so he bought me two carats, and he made the side diamonds bigger so that it pops out more…” etc. etc. etc.
Girl, you need to calm down with your fake LV bag. Just don’t be that douchebag, ladies, please.
5. The social media freak
Aaah yes. We all have those somewhere on our news feeds. You’ll get a daily pic of her and her husband with a caption of something like: “Thank God for you” “You’re my blessing” “God bless us” “I can’t live without you” and so on and so forth. Don’t get me wrong, I occasionally post pics of Yassine and I, but those captions are just too much, ofar ya3ny.
Part of it is looking for attention/likes and part of it is out of boredom. Granted, some of it is sincere, but you kind of lose that sincerity when you’re posting shit like that daily. Get over yourself. You love your spouse, good for you! If you really love him that much, show him between yourselves, and keep it to yourself.
6. The girl who’s obsessed with “7asad”
So this one is on both sides: The one who is terrified of 7asad, and the one who does the 7asad-ing. For those who don’t know, 7asad is the Evil Eye. Now, I never really believed in this stuff until I started my wedding planning and I acknowledged its existence.
But some girls are so terrified of it that it kind of gets annoying. Like they wouldn’t invite people to their house, or they would avoid talking to anyone about any good thing going on with her and her husband, although she just posted one of those sloppy pics of them yesterday.
It’s just so obvious in their facial expressions; and I’d actually get offended if I caught some girl doing it with me, I’d be like calm down, no one is about to give you the Evil Eye, you’re not THAT great at all.
I’m kidding, but seriously though, it makes everyone on edge and stops you from enjoying conversations with your friends.
On the other hand, there are the Evil Eye givers, and you gotta watch out for those.
It starts with her comparing everything she has with her man to everything you have, and then asking you how you did that or where you bought this – and it’s not in a nice way, it’s in the condescending “tell me right now” way.
Those same girls will not shut up about how great their husband is and how amazing life is. Right then and there ladies, know that their lives are a living hell, and move as far, far away from that girl as possible.
7. The attention seeker
Which brings us to the attention seeker. Honestly, I feel sorry for this one. This is the girl who woke up after her wedding and got the shock of her life when she realized that the dream is over. She’s back to cruel reality where no attention is being given to her anymore.
Her friends and family’s excitement died down significantly, her phone is not blowing up from wedding planners and DJs, no one is tagging her in wedding pics on Instagram and Facebook; it’s the simple fact that the world doesn’t revolve around her anymore.
Honestly, I went through this as well; granted, it was only a mini panic attack and I kept it to myself, but I did feel it (then I snapped myself out of princess-brat mode). But a lot of girls have huge panic attacks after their weddings, and this is a real thing, people; it’s called post-wedding depression (there are Google articles on how you can overcome it).
So they’re back to being irrelevant, and some take it to the extreme and do anything to get at least some of that attention back. If you’re engaged and sitting next to her at a party, she won’t stop talking about it. She’ll even offer to be your wedding planner, dress designer, flower girl, ANYTHING.
She’ll write annoyingly desperate Facebook statuses about her wedding like, “Guys I miss my wedding everyone send me all the pics” and that would be like four months after the event. And don’t get me started on the avalanche of wedding pictures that keep popping up on your timeline of her wedding day with the caption, “miss this day.”
8. The perfect housewife
This girl will talk about the three-course meal she makes daily, along with the freshly baked bread/cake/cookies she makes as well. She’ll have a perfectly made table with the china out and the caption, “just a normal dinner at home with the hubby.” She’ll be fully made up with hair and makeup done all day every day, and her house will be on point, glistening inside and out.
And you know how we know all of this? Because she takes pics of all of it and posts it all on Instagram! Ooooof course she does. I mean, come on, if you wanted me to feel bad about my lack of housewifely traits, at least don’t make the table so perfectly with the china!
No one does that. I’ll tell you guys from experience, it’ll be a great day if I put the food in “saravees” for Yassine instead of just scooping it out from the pans. Don’t judge me, if you had to do dishes every day, you’ll appreciate these little things!
I mean, some girls find it normal to go all out like that, but usually not. It’s all just a game of showing off in front of your newly wedded peers, and I will have no part of that, thank you very much!
**DISCLAIMER: This article is to be taken lightly and in humor. It is made to make you laugh. If you are offended, you don’t have to continue reading. Thanks and lots of love, Lenah!**
WE SAID THIS: Don’t miss The 6 Girls See At Every Egyptian Wedding.
