Being entangled in the Arab American community can be awesome way to keep in touch with your roots and apart of something bigger than yourself. As an Arab woman and active member of the community I have had the pleasure and misfortunate of meeting many types of Arab men during my time in the states. While we can’t lodge everyone into these few categories, here are a few guys you may meet or recognize in the Arab American community.
The Arab Guido
You can spot this guy a mile away thanks to his strong hair gel game, most likely sporting a clean cut shirt, chains, and fat ass watch all complimentary to his unnecessarily large cross or Allah tattoo on his arm (we get you love god). He spends his free time (and allowance) getting bottle service every single freaking weekend at the club.
You can find him: blowing up your Snapchat with gym selfies and videos of his bottle service.
The Ma7al Kid
This guy was raised in the ma7al, whether it’s a restaurant, liquor store or phone store. This guy may or may not sling on the side, may or may not have a baby mama, and definitely still takes orders from his dad despite being in his 20s.
You can find him: at the masjid on Friday afternoon and the club Friday night.
The FOB & The Boater
Almost the same but the only thing these two have in common is their accent and lack of understanding American social norms. What sets these two apart is “FOB” is mostly a West Coast term and “Boaters” is used mostly everywhere else.
The FOB is sorta adorable in a pink polo tucked in kinda way and he has your mother’s stamp of approval all over him. His vocabulary is probably more elaborate than yours, but people still clown on him because he has an accent. Most likely an engineer or scientist, he moved here because he got accepted to some Ivy league school you would never dream of applying to and now work for some big tech company.
You can find him: at every possible Arab event tryna to find wifey.
The Boater AKA your cousin was granted (by some miracle) a visa to come visit America. He comes here as a goody goody and after a couple of months is smoking Js with the regulars at the your dad’s store after his shift. Will most likely wife some hebla non-Arab girl before his visa expires.
You can find him: at a hookah lounge or running errands for some 3amo.
The Gay Guy
This is your Gay Best Friend (GBF) he’s the person you go to when you need to be checked, because he has absolutely no problem telling you what a dick you are or that your shirt is fugly. Whether he is in or out of the closet, the “walking stereotype” (as Americans like to say) has dealt with a lot of bullsh*t from realization to homophobia. Probably the most self-aware of the Arab dudes, he’s your go-to for great advice and a great time; he’s basically the gay Aladdin.
You can find him: on the dance floor, hizzing better than yo mama.
The Activist
This guy is all about unity, fighting colonization and burning Israeli flags. His hobbies include fighting the power and protesting, but despite being extremely down for the cause, his family thinks he doesn’t actually have a real job. This is the guy you turn to when you need help on your history paper or have some sort of legal dispute, because he kinda just knows everything
You can find him: at the next feminist teach in burning a flag.
The Sheikh/Khoury
This guy loves God — like really, really loves God and his mom. He’s a square but he’s also the guy you call in the middle of the night to bail your ass out of trouble. He spends his spare time fundraising, feeding the homeless and studying to become a doctor. Literally the dorkiest saint you’ll ever meet.
You can find him: praying for the rest of us or having lunch with his mom.
The Hipster
Formerly known as the whitewashed Arab, some may call him “normal”, but chances are he’s a total weirdo. He’ll lecture you on why the processing system of Android is better than Apple, has just about every ancient philosopher’s theories memorized so he can back up his atheism, and is pretty well informed on topics outside of the Arab realm. He will occasionally make the mistake of hanging out at the hookah spot and complain about how backwards Arab society is.
You can find him: nowhere because he doesn’t kick it with Arab.
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