Ramadan has been over for more than three months and I still can’t get the Konafa Nutella out of my mind. My life has basically become one big conversation about cupcakes, zalabia and giving people excuses for why I never have time for the gym and it is becoming a problem.
When I’m around people, I certainly don’t want to talk about real world problems, like politics, medicine, education or raising a healthy child. No, thank you. Instead, I wait for someone to bring up the newest dessert in town so I can overreact for 30 minutes and go “ooohhh” and “aaahhh” and then sneak out to get my hands on the newest sin Egypt has to offer.
I choose to believe this is not an individual problem, but the whole country is going through the same ordeal. Maybe they are more reasonable than me; however, desserts are the epitome of word-of-mouth marketing in Egypt. One day, we’re sharing a photo on Facebook, the next minute the store is sold out.
Here are the 22 stages of dessert evolution in Egypt that turned our lives upside down with all the avwara:
This is how it all started in the 80s, the classic gateaux. Life was easy, you were either a white or a brown cake person.
Years later La Poire introduced the mozdawaj cake. We all hated the pineapple, so we scooped the white cake from beneath the fruits.
And suddenly out of nowhere, McDonald’s came to Egypt and we fell in love with a diabolical sundae and a little apple pie that gave us the sweetest tongue burns ever.
Then it was time to obsess over House of Donuts. We all loved the one that looked like fingers and never ordered it.
Then the North Coast happened and Saber’s roz be laban ruled the dessert reign. It was the hottest spot in Sa7el. No high heels, bouncers or tickets.
Out of nowhere, Les Dammes introduced the 2obba cake. If you haven’t tried the chocolate, strawberry or pistachio domes, you missed out on life.
Afterwards, my life changed forever and I tried Chili’s turtle cake. *Jaw touched the table*
Then for some reason, everyone I knew started heading to Mandarine Koueider and Sweet Center for the ice cream and then, oh my God, zabadi bel toot happened.
Sedra introduced us to a less messy dessert solution with their soiree delicacies, and no birthday, 3ozoma or erayet fat7a was complete without them.
Then Crave decided to screw us over with a mind game and showed Chili’s how it’s really done with their chocolate fondant. *Accelerated heartbeats and drool*
Later on, Nutella crawled its way into a fetira in Shader El Maadi and they lived happily ever after and so did I. It was like witnessing my daughter’s wedding.
And then it literally started raining chocolate. Every wedding you find yourself glued next to a fountain, getting your suits and dresses dirty for a small piece of heaven.
But then chocolate started to become overrated and the insanity took over and we met the Konafa Mango. Talk about overreaction of the century.
And the vicious cycle started, and we had konafa toot, banana, caramel, etc.
Then my life changed again when Nola cupcakes fell from the sky into my mouth. It is bliss of perfect dimensions that fit flawlessly into your soul.
Macarons everyone! And we all started saying macarons this, macarons that, as if it adds elegance to your existence. I hate them.
Cake pops. Just to waste our money but add useless cellulite.
Suddenly an evil force that needed an exorcism took over our country. The red velvet haunting.
Then a grand finale that destroyed common sense as we know it: Dunkin’ Donuts arrived.
I have to applaud Mandarine Koueider for being the one place that has maintained its quality and originality. We love you konafa bel crema.
WE SAID THIS: 15 Egyptian ‘Avwara’ Moments That Happened This Ramadan.
