Everyone keeps wondering why so many young couples who have been in love since kindergarten break off their engagement. It’s the freaking house tashteeb. It is the most stressful thing any couple has to endure. It is the true test of the depth of their love.
Making decisions as a couple without the interference of in-laws, brokers, real estate agencies, friends and laborers is a cute and fictional dream we all have. But it ain’t going to happen my friend. So, get ready to zone out of the worst kind of drama you will ever witness. A kind of drama that is much much worse than the Kardashians.
Here are some struggles every Egyptian endures during the tashteeb phase of their life:
You meet the real estate agent on the opening day of your dream compound, and all the ground floor flats with gardens and the ba7ary ones are taken
So you buy the first floor one without the roof and sell your kidney to afford it
In 2009, the real estate agency promised you that you will live there happily ever after. Too bad it’s 2015 and you still live with 7amatak…
The infamous 3omal excuse:”Aboya mat we harou7 elbalad”. Two months later, he forgets the lie tells you, “Aboya fl mostashfa”
The 3omal drama: “Fee zoboon fel tagamoa mebahdelny.” Mmm… I don’t care and I won’t pay more
Punctuality is not even an option
From el nagaf to elma2abed eldahaby, the parents and the couple can’t agree on anything
The girl wants classic and the boy wants modern colorless and boring
El neesh ya gama3a!
You have to show 7amatek el salon el modhab before you buy it
The bathroom tiles you chose after hundreds of fights aren’t available or imported and too expensive and you end up screaming, “Enta mestakhsar feya?”
And if the tiles were available, you always end up buying less, so you have to go back again
When a friend does the interior design or kitchen for you and you expect a discount and he charges you full price. Awkward!
That moment when you realize there is something called baldakana and karanish and you freaking hate them!
Convincing your husband to use the vintage China set your dad bought before you were born
The kitchen takes forever to be ready and you are still fighting on the phone with the nagar on your wedding night
And of course he has to make some idiotic mistake, so the corner cabinet won’t fit
You move in and your journey seems to end well, but then you realise you need frames for a final touch and go bat-shit crazy all over again
But basically, the scariest two words that have destroyed marriages and sabotaged everlasting love are ElSallab and ElMahgoub
You will never find a smiling man inside except for the mesamsem.
WE SAID THIS: Check out Z Concept, an architecture and contracting firm that will help ease your tashteeb pain.
